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Is it okay to make sex funny?
Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2013 7:41 PM
Joined: 8/18/2013
Posts: 8

I'm writing a memoir about my experiences back in the dating world (mostly all the bad dates), and I've written a few chapters about some of the sexual encounters that I've had.  What I've written so far in its entirety is supposed to be humorous.  I struggle with the sex (written, not actual... please) because to me it's funny.  But I think the scenes I've written are a little too technical and detached in some ways.  Is that okay?

Also, I'm not well versed in romance novels or any other writing about sex, except for 50 Shades of Gray and Bonk.  That's the extent of my sex reading.  Any suggestions?  Especially something that might be funny?

Jay Greenstein
Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2013 10:26 PM
ElenaK wrote:

"But I think the scenes I've written are a little too technical and detached in some ways.  Is that okay?"


In a word, no. Sex is about emotion, not plumbing. People read for purely emotional reasons, so reciting facts while sometimes necessary, tends to get in the way.
I think the problem you may be facing is that your knowledge of how to grab and hold a reader's attention, and emotions, may be limited to verbal storytelling technique—which is a performance art that translates not at all to the printed word—and the general writing techniques we learn in our primary schooling. If that's true, you're missing a lot of the "tricks of the trade" that the pros take for granted.
For part of what I mean, listen to Gilbert Godfry read Fifty Shades:
All he did was read the text, as written. But his reading, and the reaction shots, can't be given to a reader with simple description, because sound and vision are not available in printed word medium. That means there are alternative ways of presenting the material that "get around" the limitation. It also explains why films and the book are almost always different.
My point is that having a bit of knowledge of what those "work-arounds" are would be immensely helpful in writing your story. You might look into Debra Dixon's, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict ( It's a warm easy read, and will give you a good grounding on the why's and the nuts-and-bolts issues of what a story is, and the elements that make it work. Of more importance, it's an interesting read, filled with, "Why didn't I see that for myself?" moments.

Lucy Silag
Posted: Monday, August 19, 2013 9:54 AM
Joined: 6/7/2013
Posts: 1356

Hi Elena!


I loved your question. Yes, it is totally okay to make sex funny in your writing (Chelsea Handler, anyone?happy).


I am really looking forward to checking out your book. It sounds just like what I love to read, and I think that once I do that, I will probably be able to give you some more feedback about what in the scenes (sex scenes or otherwise) is working, or not.


In the meantime, welcome to Book Country. We've got some resources on the site that you might check out as your orient yourself to the community: an FAQ, video tutorials, and this Book Country blog post that serves as a good introduction for how to get started (though it seems like you already off to a fantastic start.


Let me know if you have questions--you can private message me or email me at lucy AT bookcountry DOT com.


Glad you're here!


Lucy Silag

Book Country Community and Engagement Manager


Jaycee Ford
Posted: Monday, February 3, 2014 11:29 PM
Joined: 4/25/2013
Posts: 17

Humorous sex is awesome, especially if it's supposed to be funny. If you're writing a romance even, it can still be funny a bit. But you're not writing a romance, you're writing a memoir that depicts many situations that are meant to be funny. Take TV/Movies, for example, how many times have we cracked up at sex scenes gone wrong. It's brilliant, I think. Be technical with a humorous inner dialogue. Let me know if that's published. I'd love to read it!


Posted: Friday, January 1, 2016 7:31 PM
Joined: 1/1/2016
Posts: 1

Just finishing my first full-length novel, DEADLY RED. A murder mystery spy thriller, but with plenty of sexy scenes. None of my favorite writers include much sex in their thrillers, so I'm going a bit out on a limb. Many of the erotic encounters in my novel are funny. For instance, one of the women tries to undress her sleeping female friend in a jetliner. Stubborn buttons, sticky zippers, elastic that snaps and wondering if she is really sleeping all add to the fun. (By the way, our male hero is sleeping in the seat between the two women.) Oh, a little turbulence when one is almost naked wakes her.


I can only hope that our dear readers find this stimulating and engaging.


There are plenty of bombs, blood and bullets in the book. A bunch of twists and secrets. Not all fun and games.


Excited to be part of Book Country and entering the Thriller realm.


I'm very open to comments, funny or otherwise. Thank you.




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