Point of View
Using the first person POV to its fullest potential
• I know it's a direct link so that the protagonist can talk directly to the reader, No more then you can in third. Telling is telling, and the protagonist on the scene lives at a different time and place from the one telling the story, so they cannot appear on stage together. And every time the narrator addresses the reader directly, by stopping the action to explain, the scene clock stops ticking and all sense of reality flees—just as it does in third or second person. First person allows more editorial capability in the exposition that sews scenes together, and in the support exposition during the scene. It does not make the narrator an active character in the story. • but it seems almost that I'm droning on too much with thoughts instead of focusing on the moment. Tips? That’s easy. Cut it out. If it seems that way to you, who can actually "see" the scene and know the characters, it certainly does to someone who knows only what those words have said. Try this: Change a section from first to third and read it back. If you find the author explaining things that’s how it reads to the reader in first. Look at the prose. Does the reader always know what the character is reacting to, and why? Or are you simply playing the story in your head and providing a list of what you see happening. If you are, it matters not at all if it’s in third or first. The reader, unable to see the actual scene, doesn’t care what you see happening because they’re sitting in the dark—and they can’t even hear your tone of voice.