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Self-Absorbed POV
calicocat88
Posted: Monday, May 5, 2014 1:23 PM
Joined: 10/2/2013
Posts: 12


Okay. One of my stories is in first person POV and I'm having an issue (not sure if it is an actual problem or just me being picky) with seeing too many "I's" on the pages. Does anyone have suggestions how I could shave off all the "I's" when writing in this POV without confusing the reader?

 

~~Calico~~


D J Lutz
Posted: Monday, May 5, 2014 7:32 PM

I have just finished transforming a novel written in third person to first person POV and you are right, there can be too many "I..." One way to change things up a bit is to show us the action and let us assume it is you doing it. In other words, you could say 'I picked up the hammer and I intended to use it to break into the museum." Or, you could rephrase it, saying "The hammer felt good in my hand, well-balanced, the oak handle soaked in pitch to prevent slippage. I knew the moment the claw broke through the glass, the clock would start ticking before yours truly would be caught inside the antiquities section. The burlap sack and bubble wrap would be hard to enough to explain; with the Aztec shrunken head, I was doomed."


Just a thought. And there are many decent books, mysteries in particular, written in first person. Not a mystery, but a great book is The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. More accurately stated, it is in first dog POV. A great read.


Jay Greenstein
Posted: Monday, May 5, 2014 10:42 PM

The answer to that is easy. Look at the writing and I think you'll find that the narrator is telling the story, as against placing the reader on the scene in the slim moment of time the protagonist calls "now."

 

I'm betting you're saying, "I saw Henry walking toward me," which is a report, instead of, "Henry was walking toward me," which is an observation by the protagonist, of what they're paying attention to.

 

Yes, I know that the protagonist and the narrator are supposed to be the same person, but they live at different times and places and cannot be on stage together. So the reader is either living the scene in real time or it's being explained by the author, wearing a wig and makeup and pretending to be the protagonist at some unknown different time and place.

 

Never forget that the reader doesn't come to us to learn the details of a fictional character's life. That's history, and as exciting as the history books we were made to read in school, because history informs. Readers of fiction are looking for entertainment. They want their emotions stirred, not to learn that the character felt emotion.

 

I've often thought that new writers should be forbidden to write first person for at least the first year, because the tendency is to use it to legitimize telling. And one way to tell if that's your problem is to convert a section to third person and see if the story is talking place as we read or if we're being told about it by a voice we can't hear, belonging to a storyteller whose gestures and expression we can't see—a graphic novel minus the pictures.

 

The thing to remember is that POV isn't about which personal pronouns we use. There's no difference between, "He ran for the train," and "I ran for the train." But there's a huge difference between an external observer talking about what could be seen and learning what the protagonist is focused on, and why.


calicocat88
Posted: Tuesday, May 6, 2014 5:19 PM
Joined: 10/2/2013
Posts: 12


Guys, thank you so much for the comments. They were extremely helpful. I started out writing in third person and prefer it over first person, but I discovered that first person was right for this particular story and I just don't have too much experience in that area. Thanks again! If you have anymore advice please don't hesitate!

 

~~Calico~~


 

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