The Kings of Carnin | Rise of Ari

By Dan Croutch

Draft 3 Posted Date: 3/8/2014

Book Rating (current version):

Based on 4 Reviews

Book Rating (all versions):

Based on 7 Reviews


High / Epic Fantasy

Word Count:


About the Book:

Ari lives in the tyrannical kingdom of Orisgothia serving under his father the royal blacksmith. His title and job are guaranteed, a rare and desirable trait. His father dies suddenly in battle; his final act granting Ari an audience with the King. When the King forces Ari into a duel he appears to be bested. A sudden and unusual sensation powers him to victory. His victory grants him royal favour and leadership in the army, with new marching orders. Ari must now venture across the inhospitable Great Plains while maintaining order of jealous infantry and his reckless best friend. Sudden and powerful dreams rob him of his sleep and mental resolve. A strong and experienced enemy waits for them; his subordinates believe the attack is suicide but failure of any kind is punishable by an eccentric death penalty. Ari finds unlikely victory with strength from the same sensations as before. Strange, ancient magic continues to follow Ari whenever he is in battle. His curiosity drives him to a discovery that shatters everything he holds true. The forgotten magic Ari has discovered will no longer be hoarded by the merciless five kings who rule over all Carnin. Magic which grants supernatural gifting to those who wield it; each king a god in their kingdom. Ari must emerge as who he truly is and fight against everything, and everyone, he once knew.

About the Author:

IT Administrator by trade, father by choice and golfer in my dreams. This is my first go at any kind of writing and an ambitious one at that. I enjoy all aspects of life but talking about vehicles, time with my family and anything golf are the most important. Active on social media (twitter) and less so on my blog.

Author's Note:

This draft features some major revisions thanks to some great feedback on draft #2. The beginning has been revamped and some relational/character elements have been fleshed out further. Revisions to correct tense, capitalization and basic writing mechanics as well. Enjoy!

Requested feedback Criteria: Overall Feedback, Point of View, Voice, Plot, Pacing, Continuity

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