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Joined: 8/13/2011
Posts: 272
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just to make everyone feel much better, I give you this news:
http://jezebel.com/5909166/50-shades-of-grey-banned-from-libraries-for-being-too-racy-and-poorly-written
For added amusement, take a look at the first comment on the post. It's some stats on over-used words in it.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Angela - Believe me, you're not alone in your bitterness. It's just so damn frustrating that Hollywood will capitalize on shit such as this, simply to make the almighty dollar. How are they going to rate it, I wonder? How about PG-13 so they can get the widest audience? I'm sure we could ALL use some "relationship" advice from Bella and Edward... er, Ana and Christian. And I'm sure the teens will LOVE to see Domward and Subella. Hahahahaahaha *sarcasm*
Sorry, it's been one of those days and I'm embracing my snark. There is simply no justice in this world. And unless miscreants like James are held accountable for their deeds, this will only continue. After all, if one got away with it and laughed all the way to the bank, who says more can't?
Oh, and in continuing my tirade (and spewing fire), I am in possession of tidbits of a conversation James had with another fan fic writer, where she shows her true colors. (I didn't ask to have it, mind you, but it was sent to others and I was included.) Woah.
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Joined: 1/26/2012
Posts: 28
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Ladies (and gentlemen), for your reading pleasure, just in case you didn't catch the link from the comments on the Jezebel article. :
http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/
And now I can experience the suckfest without having to find a copy on my own. 
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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Timothy, Ella - Thanks for the links. I needed a good laugh!
LeeAnna - My three books were originally one behemoth with close to 500,000 words! I've gotten the three of them down to a total of around 380,000. Lots of editing; lots of revising/rewriting. I never thought I could slash and burn "my baby", but once I actively began editing it with the goal of cutting words/sections/chapters, the cuts made sense. Still looking to cut some more. Even if no one ever publishes the damn thing, at least I can tell myself that I've worked VERY hard on it.
Laura - Do share!
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I heard that 50 Shades of Grey had been optioned. When I was moaning the fact to someone else, they cheered me up by reminding me that the movie may never come to pass. Hollywood tends to option hot projects but they may languish. Ask any of Diana Gabaldon's fans, who have been waiting somewhere around three to four years for a movie since it was announced the option for "Outlander" was picked up. While everyone is going about casting--maybe it'll be Robert Pattinson and Kristen stewart!--there still needs to be a script. And one that means it can be released in theaters. By the time a working script is written, the popularity may have faded as the masses move on to the next big thing. Or the predicted backlash may hit and Hollywood shelves the project.
@Laura: "Oh, and in continuing my tirade (and spewing fire), I am in possession of tidbits of a conversation James had with another fan fic writer, where she shows her true colors. (I didn't ask to have it, mind you, but it was sent to others and I was included.) Woah."
Is it what I posted a couple pages back? This link: http://sleepyvalentina.com/icy
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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We're not alone. This is a post by Kristin Nelson, a literary agent:
http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2012/05/why-50-shades-of-grey-makes-agent-lives.html
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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@Alexandria - Actually, the link I have is AG's rant.
http://gentleblaze.livejournal.com/514.html
She mentions that James then posted their whole discussion and pretty much damned herself. So this is the highlights only, I guess.
And thanks for the link. Glad to know editors are pissed about it, too. As they should be, I think.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I think the post I have contain the full conversations where James tried to prove she was taken "out of context" when all it proved was that she's just out for money and doesn't really care for her fans.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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Thanks for the links all! I needed the good laugh. I would read the book and write my own scathing review on my blog with my military housewife persona, but I don't think I could make it past the first page.
Angela, I never thought I could make the cuts I did either, but I did it. The work flows much better for the effort and pain that I put into the words. It's amazing what a little hard work does with a piece of writing.
As a fun little tid-bit: Gertrude Stein didn't like to edit her works either, something Hemingway criticised her for. And he admired her!
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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Sometimes you need a laugh. And it's interesting to see how comments on the internet can last forever.
I already have some ideas on how to improve "The Wedding Game." I hope to make it stronger.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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So, a woman in my choir told me today that she bought a Kindle and got it all set up. What's the first book she bought for it? You got it: 50 shades. I went on a mini tirade about the origins of the book, how poorly written it is, and so on.
She told me that she doesn't normally read books like that but, "well, EVERYONE is reading it."
Not everyone. . .
Then she asked me if books could be deleted from a Kindle. . .
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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Heh.
Yes, books can be deleted from the Kindle, but they remain in your cloud over at Amazon.com forever.
Has anyone else seen the 50 Shades parody with Selena Gomez?
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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A mini-tirade. Heh. Did the same thing with my cousin who read it for the same reason. I even went into how much it hurts us writers who work so hard to do right when a book that bad gets popular. I think she understood at that point.
No, I haven't seen that parody yet.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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Alexandria - Yes, I told her she could delete it from the Kindle, but it would forever be stored by Amazon. Besides, the damage was already done: another copy of that crap was bought.
LeeAnna - Oh, you bet I told her how much it upsets writers.
Is this the parody you mean: http://www.hulu.com/watch/358341/saturday-night-live-amazon-mothers-day-ad
I also found this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qZLrC7Ot4
There seem to be many!
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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Those parodies were awesome.
Anyway, it's like I told my boss. If there is sex, gore, or loud explosions, the general populous will be happy. Having acknowledged that fact, I will do everything in my power to fight against the crap that is truly truly terrible.
So whose up for that 50 Shades book burning?
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Angela - Great story of how you got your point across to your friend. Alas, my SIL cannot be saved. But, then again, it speaks volumes about her intelligence and I'm going to just let her enjoy her shitty books. No use in saving someone who doesn't want to be saved. Glad your friend is more aware.
And the Selena Gomez bit is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3t10zyF3jw&feature=related
LeeAnna - I'm available anytime this week! Haha!
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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I watched the Selena Gomez parody. I love it. That is basically the plot for every bad romance and porn movie ever done.
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Joined: 8/13/2011
Posts: 272
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This all reminds me of our Twilight game-burning last year. Highly cathartic (just had to remember to remove the plastic pieces).
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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Laura - Thanks for posting the parody link. Just watched it. Well, the book and the circumstances surrounding the author's (dare I use that word?) success are infuriating, but the parodies, blog postings, book reviews, and this thread have certainly been entertaining!
Timothy - Didn't know there was a Twilight game (blissfully ignorant of a lot of that stuff because I don't have any teenagers or tweeners around me on a regular basis). I probably would have burned it, too.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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Oh, the parodies! I liked the 50 Shades of Mom Porn and the names.
I used to steer conversations away from Twilight if the youth group I moderate brought it up. First one to mention 50 Shades is getting a lecture.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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"First one to mention 50 Shades is getting a lecture."
I told my boss that he can't let his wife read it. When he didn't know what I was referring to, he whipped out his iPad and searched it. The moment he typed in "50," it was the first thing that came up on that little auto-list. When I explained to him what it was, he said "I wouldn't be surprised if my wife has already read it." Ah, the power of popularity.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Last week I saw all three featured on the shelf in the book section of our local Stop & Shop. Last night I was back there again, and only one's left. Ew.
The supermarket?! Really?
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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Saw all three books today in a newsstand shop down in the Suburban Station Concourse level. Wonder how many commuters pick up copies to read during their train rides to and from the office. . .
I also had looked at sample pages on Amazon (trite writing, really), and now they always up in one of the sidebars whenever I go to the Amazon web site. I'm going to have to figure out how to purge my search history on that site.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I'm working on a blog post about it and a friend who is reading it out of masochistic tendencies has offered to share any passages should I need them so I don't have to parse through it.
I saw an article where a mom and her daughter triumphed in their quest to get their library to stock the books. I couldn't click on the link to read the proper article after that summary. I was too sad the library caved.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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Look! My puke is 50 different shades!
Okay, maybe that wasn't really funny.
Anyway, I wish there was a way for me to get a copy of the book without paying for it. Then I would take a red pen to do some "editing." After it's all marked up, I would mail it to James. I wonder how many writers would do this with me. Of course, I would also have to be willing to pay the postage to England.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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If you get enough people to chip in, the postage to England would be really, really cheap.
Just reading the sample pages made me want to cry, barf, and rant simultaneously. The whole sordid history of why the books were written in the first place and how they were published aside, the writing is truly, truly terrible. Every decent, hard-working writer who has ever sweated over a particularly difficult (yet original) paragraph or chapter and has had no support whatsoever from agents or publishers should be insulted and enraged.
Okay, I'll climb down off my soapbox now. . . Just have been spending 8 hours a day editing at my day job followed by 3 to 4 hours a day (most days) re-reading, note-taking, and editing across my three WIPs for the last year or so. Yeh, I'm a bit punchy.
LeeAnna - I'd help you rip it to shreds, I mean, edit it, if it were logistically possible.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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@LeeAnna: "Anyway, I wish there was a way for me to get a copy of the book without paying for it."
It depends. I said pages back that there are people who still have copies of "Masters of the Universe." Since 50 Shades is just that story with the names "Edward" and "Bella" changed, want to use that instead?
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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@Angela: Yeah, it was a great idea until I thought of the logistics. If I could do it for nothing, then I would totally do it, but that isn't how the world works.
@Alexandria: An e-file would work, but then there would be certain satisfaction marking up her printed book and sending it to her. She would open it to see the cover of her own work. Curious that someone had sent her a copy of her own book, she'll open it only to see it bleeding red. Bwahahaha!
Okay, I'm done fantasizing now. I think I'll just grab my typewriter and torture people at the 1/2 Starbucks inside B&N.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Gang: Okay, what if we meet in the middle here. Take Alexandria's suggestion and print out a hard copy of Masters of the Crapiverse, make it bleed and send THAT to her. Like a big, "We know the truth!" *sinister laugh*
I'd be willing to chip in for the shipping... and a whack at a few chapters with my red pen!
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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I say just dip all three published books in a vat of red ink and ship it to her that way. Why waste precious time running a red pen through it?
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I'm kinda getting excited for this now.
@Laura: For added fun, we could keep crossing out "Edward" and "Bella" and replacing them with "Christian" and "Ana".
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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I have created a monster.
This actually may be fun. I wonder, what would happen if this reached headlines somewhere? What would the headline be?
Anyway, doing an editing job might be fun with this one. I've read books where I wanted to take a red pen to it just to prove that I was doing better.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I would imagine it depends. We'd run from being dismissed as bitter wannabes jealous of James' success to lauded as bold readers who demand quality.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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Perspective is everything. Her fans certainly wouldn't like us very much.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I've been in fanfiction long enough to know that even if you just speak the truth (or your own opinion), you will be told you are wrong and attacked by fans who are guided by their passion. While I am passionate about my fandoms, I try to never get to the point where I find myself calling someone "stupid" for speaking their mind if it differs from my opinion.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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I'm sorry, but every time I hear the title 'Masters of the Universe", I want to replace the names "Christian and Ana" with Adam and Teela.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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Well, technically, you'd be replacing the names "Edward" and "Bella" but otherwise, good one, Robert!
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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I thought the same, Robert. "Masters of the Universe" certainly brings to mind bad 80s animation.
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Joined: 4/3/2011
Posts: 66
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I have never been a fan of "fan-Fiction" as it's normally rubbish coming from someone who doesn't have enough imagination to come up with their own characters. I do not read it and Shades of Grey holds no interest for me since I rather have the sex instead of reading about it. I hear this "penthouse" type writing is horrible and repetitive with no other word for erection to be found anywhere.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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Fan Fiction has a place in a writer's development. Mostly, it's a good opportunity for practicing dialogue, action, and other prose skills without having to worry so much about
word building and, sometimes, characterization.
That said, it should be a stepping stone, not a final destination.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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That is true, Robert. I have written fanfiction and found that my talents improved due to the practice as well as the comments I received. I also believe fanfiction helps with characterization because yes, you are using someone else's characters. But just writing "Harry Potter" isn't (always) enough. There are fans out there who will call you out as a bad writer if Harry acts nothing like he does in the books. So you have to figure out his character and using the same techniques can help with your own characters.
Of course, that's assuming you actually care about your fanfiction and aren't just using it as a cover to test out your own original works. But that's a gripe I take to the fanfiction community, not this one.
--
I was over a friend's house this weekend and his mother was telling some other friends that they needed to read "50 Shades." A friend who read the series to see how horrible it was sent me some excerpts for a blog post I'm working on so I had them read some of that. And they decided they may like it. I felt my anger rising and I said it was bad writing that most in the publishing industry agree shouldn't have been. My friend's mother said that it's something that happens, people have sex. Since I was a guest, I held my tongue. But all I could think was: "There is sex in nearly every romance novel published nowadays. James isn't doing anything everyone else is doing and doing better."
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Joined: 3/13/2011
Posts: 412
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Sinnie, may I suggest searching for "pastiche" ? Fan fiction has a LONG history with serious writers. Many characters you know and love started as fan fiction that evolved. Heinlein wrote pastiche, asimov wrote pastiche, Sherlock Holmes himself, one of the most fan ficed characters of all time, started out as a pastiche combining several real and fictional detectives. Shakespeare wrote practically nothing BUT fan fiction.
To call it, not serious writing, is an insult, and a falsehood.
Also, Twilight itself started out as Buffy fanfiction.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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I didn't really want to weigh in on Sinnie's comments for fear that in the heat of the moment, I'd say something foolish. Thanks to A and A for doing so. Fan fiction certainly has its place in the world of writing and fiction, and I think to discard it as rubbish is to rob many people of a safe place to experiment and work on the art. Sure, there's a lot of crap out there, but I have also read some amazing stuff that, if the author had poured all of that passion and skill into an OF, I'd run to buy a copy of. Now, I won't share my own FF with anyone here, and I'm certainly not going to do a find and replace and try to publish it. But it was, for me, an exercise, and it reinvigorated a long-time love for the written word. So where's the evil in that?
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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I won't say that FF is a bad thing. I myself tried my hand at it in high school with a friend. (No, it is not connected to my WIP started around the same time.) I found it wasn't satisfactory enough for me, and stopped writing it. FF though is a great outlet for many other people to practice. Hell, in Japan there is legally published FF called dojinshi (probably spelled that wrong) that is quite popular. My problem is when people take FF, change a few things, and pass it off as their own work.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Aaaand that brings us back to the heart of this discussion. Thanks, LeeAnna!
You know I agree. I might be opening myself up for criticism from others here, but I don't agree, therefore, with these e-pub sites that are known to publish reworked FF. There are two that I know of, though one has apparently started rejecting reworked FF (though how they'd determine it was, I have no idea), but I'm sure there are other sites. I just don't agree with the practice of encouraging this. You want my prediction? Those sites won't last long. *crosses fingers*
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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I'd love to think they're going to go away, but...
We still have telemarketers. And spam. And physical junk mail, for god's sake. All this despite the fact that the returns on all of those have gone *down* over time, to the point where I can't see how they're cost effective, but...
Ad and marketing companies keep convincing clients that they are. Sadly, there will always be some publishers will publish anything that they think will turn a profit. Worse, if they turn a big enough profit, even punitive fines won't stop them; they'll just write off the fine as a cost of doing business.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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@Laura: "There are two that I know of, though one has apparently started rejecting reworked FF (though how they'd determine it was, I have no idea),"
It's actually easier than you think. There was a fanfiction author who was, quite frankly, the laughingstock of the Lord of the Rings fandom. Her writing skills were elementary and I believe her character is still considered the epitome of Mary Sueness in the fandom. She rewrote the story several times. The last time she rewrote it, her writing had improved by leaps and bounds. We were a little skeptical as this writer had been caught plagiarizing before. So we took sentences and Googled them. Only her story came up so we let it be.
So it can be done. Since most fanfiction is online, it's easy to find.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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The more opinions, the better.
"But overall, what bothers me the most is that the writing is simply awful. I tried reading it as fan fiction because I wanted to see what the fuss was about. It was atrocious!"
Susan, I've been involved in fanfiction for over a decade--having started when I was a teenager and using it to grow as a writer. And in my time there, I've learned that the more popular a fanfiction is, the more likely it means it is mediocre at best.
I wrote a blog about my opinions of 50 Shades, one from a fanfiction writer/reader perspective and another from a writer's perspective. So far, the only comments I have are in support of 50 Shades.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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Alexandria - At the risk of padding the comments in the negative, would you please be so kind as to share a link so those of us who'd like to can comment in protest? There MUST be more of us out there than them. Right??
Thanks!
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