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The public and violent death of an elderly NY personal injury lawyer uncovers plans to stoke regional conflicts half way around the globe.
This is a revised version that changes the method of killing from neck-breaking to shooting, and the suspected killer from a homeless person to an Army veteran. Clearly, this is still very much a work in progress, but these changes, I'm quite certain, are permanent and necessary for the plot to work. Any feedback will be much appreciated. I know it's too wordy and I'll need to edit a lot, but I'd like to know if (on the assumption that you can get through the wordiness), the story is compelling enough to keep reading it. Thank you.
I like Maria's work. He writing style is straightforward, descriptive and clever. She is easy to read and moves the story along nicely while adding many edifying elements I suspect are drawn from her own experience.
I must admit it's not my favorite subject matter but it feels well considered.
There is more than enough here to keep me entertained and interested. Everything follows.
In the forum you were asking about your characters rebelling, so I came here to see how you were handling characterization. But then, other things hit me that I think you need to know about.In looking at the opening I was struck by how little pull it had on me, so far as changing mild curiosity to interest. Someone I don’t know talks to someone I’ve not met—and don’t yet care about—about someone she knows but doesn’t like, for unknown reasons.You know what’s going on, so you understand her attitude. But for a reader there’s no context, or interest, because we don’t know who we are, where we are, or what’s going on.Basically, the narrator says, “I don’t like that woman. The other character replies with, “Tell me about it later.” But you took 308 words to do it. We’re well down on page two and nothing meaningful has happened. And as for the accusations the protagonist has made, there are two sides to every story, so what we’re being given is generalities that the old woman would probably declare nonsense. What it is about those 308 words that would make me WANT to know more about why this unknown person doesn’t like her?Then, the woman is shot, but we don’t get to see it or even know how it happened. The partner runs, but we don’t know why. He’s excited but the protagonist doesn’t turn to see what has him excited, she stops the action and TALKS to the reader about what she would have done had the situation not turned serious. He’s racing to help someone who’s hurt but but the protagonist is focused on the trivial? His point of view is exciting. Hers is that of someone vindictive and trivial. I know you didn’t intend that, but it is how you’ve presented her.For you, who know the story and the purpose behind the scene it all makes sense. But do we know who the people are? No. Do we know where they are? No, only that they are outside a courthouse in an unknown city/country, for unknown purpose. Look at the effect of the words on a reader who hasn’t the advantage of knowing the purpose of the scene, as you do, and who is being told that things are happening, but can’t visualize them as you do:• "Behold the lioness in winter," I said, gesturing at a tiny old woman gingerly making her way past the metal poles designed to protect the Federal courthouse from car bombs.Small quibble: In or out? I can’t visualize a woman walking in both directions. Next: were I to say this to you, you would respond. If you’d never read or seen, The Lion in Winter—and many readers probably haven’t—you would ask for clarification of the term. If you had, and caught the reference, you would ask how it applies. But no normal person when asked to “behold” something fails to respond. Your character does nothing. How real can he be? Your protagonist doesn’t even wonder is he heard.• Despite her age, and advanced osteoporosis evidenced by her extreme stooping, the ancient bitch wore a stylish pink Chanel suit with a short skirt, and a gaudy shade of red lipstickFirst. We have no reason to call her a bitch, and you’ve evidenced none, so the protagonist comes off as mean spirited.Next, she cannot know for certain who designed the suit, only guess. So it’s not her speaking, it’s the authorAnd finally, because we don’t know what caused the character to notice her, or her internal response and decision to talk—her POV in other words—this has no emotional content for the reader, so they cannot place the proper emotion into the “voice” telling us of her.• "I hope she falls and breaks her neck," I said to my partner, Major (Ret.) Adam Hazelton, who had obligingly turned to see what I was pointing at, "No. That would be far too easy a death for her.This can only work if we know her mood and intent, so as to place the proper hesitation and emphasis in the statement. But we’ve been given nothing of the character’s POV, only the narrator’s, and though the narrator is supposedly the same character at some unknown time and place, later, she is NOT the character on the scene, and cannot appear there with her as an active performer. But she does.And, because we don’t know what prompted this spew of bile it doesn’t really mean anything so far as moving the plot or setting the scene, to a reader. You know her. To a reader she’s someone we know nothing about, in an uncertain location, “bad mouthing,” an unknown character for unknown reason. It does develop her character, but in a negative way. It wasn’t your intent, I know. But intent doesn’t make to the page.And: partner? At what? You give no hint, so the identification is meaningless to the reader. It doesn’t matter if you later clarify, because you cannot change a first impression. Better to not confuse in the first place.• Adam is far too fit to wear a pocket watch on a chain. He doesn’t have a gut on which the chain would balance in an aesthetically-pleasing mannerI mean no insult by this, but why does a reader care? He checked the time. That’s a story event, and he has to act on it or there’s not reason to include it. He does, but between the check and the action you freeze the scene and talk about something that does nothing to move the plot, set the scene, or develop character. So it serves only to slow the narration and make it less real.The simple version: Don’t stop the scene clock or you’ll kill the scene’s momentum.• I was composing my sarcastic remark, something to the effect that my butt hadn’t grown a set of eyes yet and therefore I missed whatever Adam saw,Here you’re talking. Again you stop all action and talk about might-have-beens. A woman is dying and you’re talking about trivia. You’ve taken all the impact from the event, which should have been ours to witness, and be shocked by.• but stopped short as shock set in.So first shock sets in, and THEN you tell us why she’s shocked? How can effect come before cause and still feel even remotely like a real story? How can someone be on the ground with no cause? The woman was shot and our protagonist doesn’t even react to the shot? She doesn’t notice a car speeding away, or someone running? Is she blind? Even if the gun was silenced, or was a rifle shot from a distant rooftop a normal person would take in the scene as they try to make sense of it. But she’s not behaving as a living person. And, she’s not. Neither her nor her partner are actually on stage. Instead, you, dressed as her, are reporting the events of that day as dispassionately as if you’d prefaced the story with, “I will never forget that day that…” You’re TELLING the story.But when doing so, you would normally pace the stage, your movements and body attitude showing the emotion and urgency the woman feels. Your expression would change with the emotional intensity of the scene. Your gestures, your body movements and head-shakes would contribute. Your tone of voice, your small sighs, your emphasis and cadence would build on that, so the audience gets both the facts and the emotion.But your reader can neither see nor hear you. And with no performance notes they must try to BE you so as to recreate your performance—the one you experience when you read those words. But they came to you for the story, not a transcription of someone telling the story.I don’t doubt your dedication and commitment. And of course you worked hard on this. But the techniques you’re using are verbal storytelling techniques, presented in a silent medium. They rely on visual clues given the audience, in a medium where the reader is blind.- - - - - - - -Without the sugar coating: This is written as a report. With an approach that you, I, and virtually every other new writer takes because it’s-all-we-know when we start writing fiction.In our basic education we learn a general skill called writing. Like everything else it’s given to prepare us to be useful and productive adults. But our history classes don’t make us historians. Is it reasonable to expect that general writing skill to make us professional writers?Most adults need to write reports, essays, proposals, and letters, all requiring nonfiction writing skill. So why would we be taught the specialized techniques of journalism, play or film writing, tech-writing, OR fiction for the page? The answer is that we’re not, because professional skills in ANY field are learned as part of learning that profession.Just as a prerequisite for writing for the stage requires a knowledge of acting and stagecraft, fiction requires a knowledge of the norms, the strengths, and the weaknesses of that medium. We no more learn those for our profession by enjoying the books we read than we learn to be a chef by eating out. Every profession has tricks of the trade, specialized knowledge, and things that seem counterintuitive until we beat them into our head with study and practice until they feel as if we’ve always known and used them. In fiction-writing it’s applying the three things a reader wants to know on entering a scene (Who am ? Where am I? What’s going on?). It’s knowing what a scene actually is and the role it plays in advancing the story toward the climax.The good news is that the people who write and teach on the subject like to write about it, so you can get a great deal of the compositional knowledge you need from the library, and from reasonably priced books on technique.My usual recommendation is to begin with these articles:http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/scene.phphttp://www.be-a-better-writer.com/scenes-and-sequels.htmlhttp://writeitsideways.com/are-these-filter-words-weakening-your-fiction/The first defines an approach to writing that places te reader in the character’s head, in real-time, rather than with the storyteller. The second talks about organizing your scenes, and how to make them effective tools. The third talks about words that can distance the reader from the scene. Together they’re a good introduction to the basics, and will give you a better knowledge of what it is you need to work on.After you read the first one take a look at some modern novels and see if the techniques they mention are in play, there. I think you’ll find they are. And if they seem to make sense, you want to pick up Deb Dixon’s book, GMC: Goal Motivation and Conflict (www.gryphonbooksforwriters.com/home/gmc.htm). It’s a great introduction to the basics of fiction for the page.Hang in there, and keep on writing.Jay Greensteinhttp://www.jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/about
Plot is something that really can’t be talked about without having read a significant part of the manuscript. But in what I’ve seen of it you’re taking too much for granted. After the woman is shot you move the scene to the protagonist’s office. But the reader has no clue of what they do or what happened at the courthouse. They want to know the protagonist’s story. She fainted. Was she hurt? Dunno. Did the police talk to her and her partner? Dunno. What questions did she ask of her partner, to get an idea of what happened? Dunno. What’s going on? Not a clue. Why were they at the courthouse, and why did it require two of them? Not a clue. Nor does it make sense that they didn’t notify the judge of the problem, immediately, rather then arriving very late.And of most importance, your people talk about other people. They don’t do very much. Instead of us seeing the old woman in action you give an overview. And categorically, no actual lawyer would work for another without knowing what they would be paid per hour. I checked with my son, who has his own practice. If she was an employee she would know. If she wasn’t, she’s an independent contractor, and as such, has to pay bills, so they need to know, and be paid either an advance or a weekly salary.Sorry my news isn't better.
Erratic. You spent too much time on trivial thngs and talk, and too little on things actually happening.
Hi, Maria:Overall, I like these characters and I think the story is complicating nicely. I hope my subjective observations are helpful, and don't come across as negative. :)Humour: some nice touches. Kate's wish for Mable @ end of 1%. Adam and his pocket watch and lack of gut. 6%: Nice touch with Florentine line.Dialogue: Sounds a little unnatural in spots. Ex: Adam, top of page, 2%. 5%: "I can't believe I fainted..." Nice, but might have more impact if you cut "That's just lame."14%: Detective Carlucci: "What do you mean by this?" Consider dropping "by this?" A simple "What do you mean?"gets the job done in my opinion.22%: "Memory like a steel trap." Feels a little cliche. (I hate using that word. Sorry. ;))35%: Cut it after "whore". It's so unexpected that adding the "courtesan" line dilutes the impact. Move that line to after Adam's reaction.37%: "...but just in case not..." feels a little clunky. Maybe "...but just in case she didn't..."42%: Tears suddenly began rolling. Could use a more active treatment.45%: I fessed up. No need to say this as her confession does that for you.55%: "No shit, Sherlock." Same issue as the "steel trap" line.91%: ...had not his cell phone rang. Phrase feels a little clunky.100%: Besmirched, again. ;)Narration: 5% I sniffed at my own frailty. Consider rework? Might just be me, but it reads like she's actually sniffing her frailty, which somehow has become tangible.6%: Adam's eyes were glazed...Consider active voice? You also don't need In his former incarnation, in my opinion. To be honest, I'm not sure if that entire para adds anything. Story needs to move forward, here. 11%: Some began pounding... Consider reworking to someone pounded...Smoothing down my skirt self-consciously... Do you need self-consciously? The act of smoothing down her skirt tells me she's self-conscious.12%: Why is she calling Adam a bastard?21%: ...where ordinary, every-day millonaires went about their quiet lives. Nice description.25%: I got the sense this was evening, not afternoon.26%: Pride of a mother whose dyslexic son... Love it!32%: the boots description, to me, is a bit of a tongue twister.56%: Do we need the information that they deposited the check in the escrow account?Characterization:18%: I like that she's a litigator, yet loathes conflict. Nice touch. 35%: Mable's daughter using her mother's first name says a lot about their relationship. Nicely done.46%: the fact that she can't wrap her brain around the fact that the beautiful woman was a cold-blooded murder makes her seem naive, and, consequently for me, decreases her likeability. 48%: I'm starting to feel like Adam is the more knowledgeable one, which makes me less interested in Kate, the main character.
Overall I felt it took awhile to feel any tension and forward momentum. I was also wondering why Kate didn't take more of a lead in their discussions with Melanie and the police. I was also confused as to what kind of law they practiced. I thought they were criminal defense attorneys.At 25%, I learning about her financial problems, but I'm more interested in the murder. I feel she's telling us this, when this info could be dramatized and spaced out.39%: Now I'm starting to get interested. I'm curious as to what's in the memoir. Can we get to this sooner?44%: I'm confused. How does Adam know Melanie and Warner saw Kate yesterday. I re-read the previous page and can't find the reference. I'm also sleep deprived, so that could also be the cause. ;)82% Melanie contradicting herself is a nice complication. Makes me want to read on.
1%: "...Battle Axe shuffle along toward..." The word "along" seems unnecessary. Losing it would tighten sentence. 3%: My two cents. 2nd para, first sentence: "Mable Westerman, her legs splayed on the crossing, lay sprawled in a rapidly..."For me, by not breaking up the description of her lying in a pool of blood, the para seems to flow a little better. Totally subjective crit, though.5%: another two cents: "Adam, having gone home and changed, and now wearing blood-free clothes, uncapped a bottle..." Same issue as above.10%: Adam's comment about how Kate should wear short skirts to court...Seems similar to Kate's earlier comment about Adam's bloody shirt being the reason for the granted motion. Feels uncessary, and slows down story. Maybe keep one them.The back and forth between them up to now is fun, but I'm itching for the story to get going.12% - 13%: After detective asks what they saw, consider cutting straight to Adam saying he was looking up from his watch. That's where it gets interesting. The preceding narration is just recap, and I, the reader, don't need it.20%: the back and forth is wearing thin for me. I really want more tension, more story.36%: the word besmirch calls a lot of attention to itself, arresting the flow.75%: Mike accepted the items with thanks. The preceding line of dialogue is funny. The following line dilutes it.
Great imagery. "Adam is far too fit to wear a pocket watch on a chain with a fob. He doesn't have a gut on which the chain would balance in an aesthetically-pleasing manner." Nice. (Quibble: One wears a fob or a chain. The short chain on a fob is considered part of the fob itself.)Good story beginning. I already have a feel for the characters and an interest in seeing what happens next.There is jaundiced eye to your style of story telling that reads like a street fighter with a PhD in sociology. The prose is sparkling and funny at times. Kate's distinct take on those around her helps me as a reader to keep the characters separate. I enjoyed reading the chapters you have posted.
You make first person work. Maybe it's that your story is heavy on dialogue, but I never got the feeling I was missing something because only the main character was talking.
The story moves along at a good pace. Your writing flows well. I can scan the pages the way I enjoy reading a book and not get lost because you are very careful about making things clear as you go.
Overall impression of minimal amount of material barely starts to tell story.Don't really get to know MC other than her hatred for Mabel. Can't see who she is at all. The best described character has a momentary appearance. Adam and kate have no clients and unless there's a lot more to come characterizing them It will remain a story about doctors with no bedside manner.It shouldn't take so long to get to know what it's about. I'd like to think there's a lot to come because much more of the same will bore.
I admire first person writing but I'm often told it's out of favor - very sixties. One thing i'm sure of it's very tough when it comes to good dialogue with consistency in verb tenses. You've done a splendid job so far.
Frankly, the story has no real pace.It think it would have helped at the beginning the consequences of the murder was elaborated. You jump right from the murder scene to their office a few hours later. No police questioning at the scene. They obviousl went to court regarding a motion . Doesn't seem plausible
Bottom line: too many extraneous words. Too much time spent on accessorizing before you get the characters out of the womb and the show on the road. Examples: Shorten the first scene before Mabel gets whacked. Maybe a little bit on the narrator's animosity, but get to the savory meat that's going to interest the reader. You can fill in details later.Don't overemphasis the narrator's dislike for the dead woman.How many people, even lawyers, use "excruciating" in normal conversation? I don't get the sense that Adam is overly pedantic, although "vitriol" is close to pushing the limit.Some of the language is too stilted, beyond lawyerly. In ch 4, instead of telling Melanieto "apprise" the detectives, why not just "tell" them? And why "random" mugging? Why not something like, "killed by a mugger"?It would help to have more on the central event and chase in ch. 1. And the "derelict"? Kate sees this person, so wouldn't there be physical characteristics to support the image. How does Kate know Mabel's dead? Does she have a physical reaction to the sight, whatever her feelings about the woman? Why not a real panic attack? And wouldn't Adam say something now about his suspicion that the derelict was a fake?At the office, Kate's anger at Mabel isn't really palpable. How would she show it in body language and verbally? Can the old bat's faults be summarized in simpler terms? Maybe bring some of the detail in later, e.g., when narrator's talking to cops, perhaps as her thoughts? How about a specific example of Mabel's failing a client and say it happened more than once. The "elements" of a tort? Meaningless to most non-lawyers except TV junkies. When you finish with Mabel, my sense is that this chapter is essentially over. The cops are a new scene if not a new chapter. In fact, the duo scene with Adam is too slow, too much pure lawyer stuff. Why not cut more immediately to the detectives visit, and then bring in all the sidebar (which may be central or not later) as part of the flow. Where a lawyer might fill in the details for clarity, in fiction there's no reason you can't just drop a few hints and let the reader connect the dots. For example, rather than the exposition about Ms W, why not just use what the narrator tells the police and leave the rest a little mysterious."Gentlemen"? Why not just "men in plain clothes"?Cut some of the detail on Adam recounting of Ms. W's demise. But, without some clue to the reader, why is Adam's take that the derelict was fake credible?In Ch. 4 the duo's discussion of the representational issues gets too esoteric. Can this be simplified and placed in a nutshell for the non-legal reader? While the issues are correctly outlined, the lay reader probably won't care about the detail.
Narrator has a nice, somewhat sarcastic (or coy?) delivery. It works.
The first chapters could stand some serious pruning, e.g., the scene with Adam before the cops arrive for their interview in ch. 1 and all the first-thing-in-the-office folderol before you get to Melanie. Background slows down the story and can come later, after you have the reader hooked. Also, you can speed things up by eliminating unnecessary words--"... it didn't take Perry Mason to know that Melanie had bought herself a world of trouble." And make the dialogue snappier throughout.
Jim,Thank you. I essentially agree with just about everything you say here. I know there are far too many words, and not enough action and reaction. But it is very helpful to have these flaws pointed out specifically (reminds me that I'm definitely not smarter than the readers, and doesn't allow me to pretend that they won't notice the stuff I know needs fixing). And thank you for suggesting possible fixes - your review will be close at hand at rewrite time.
I have to say, though Kate is pretty unsympathetic in a lot of ways, I kind of adore her. She’s honest, confident, and proud--and you make that clear from page one. At first I thought I was going to hate her but as I continued to read, these “flaws” of hers that turned me off initially, just represent a positive aspect of her personality. It’s a very realistic and relatable way to craft a character. Well done!I also really enjoyed your dialogue. You have a knack for it! Your characters have distinct personalities that come through in their tones, choice of words, etc. Though there were a few moments that didn’t sound quite natural to me. For example, at 49% when Adam asks “Wanna come to dinner at our place this evening?” there’s a mix of formal and casual that doesn’t ring true--“Wanna come over for dinner tonight?” however, feels more real. Small stuff, but impactful for purposes of ease and flow. The story itself fell a little flat for me though, sadly. Part of what turned me off from the plot itself was that I didn’t feel Kate and Adam’s professional situation was realistic. While lawyers do sometimes become literary agents, the two worlds don’t actually intersect in the way described here, making it feel very unbelievable for me given I’m surrounded by that world every day. I don’t think you even need t hem to have this kind of background--why not have them just be lawyers, which they both obviously already are? What is the purpose of the extra literary layer really? There are many other ways to get the info about Mabel and bring Melanie into the story with the brother’s death piece of the puzzle. I also don’t have a great grasp on the actual conflict. Yes, Mabel was murdered, but is that going to be the main plot point? Are they trying to solve a crime that may or may not have been a random act of violence against a woman who our main character hated? I’m also not a fan of the POV and style switch that came with Chapter 2, which jolted me out of the story. You were doing a great job in Chapter 1 of letting us get to know your characters and their histories without a big info dump, but then the first part of Chapter 2 was an info-dump. And you don’t need it--you clearly know how to develop a character/backstory within a current narrative/plot, so just keep doing that. =) Don’t sell yourself (or the reader) short by taking all the info and just giving it to the reader in one fell swoop. We don’t need all the details at once; give them to us naturally as the story unfolds. But no matter what you chose to do regarding everything I’ve mentioned thus far, one thing I would definitely suggest is to reconsider the genre in which you’ve categorized this project. While I can see why you chose the Legal Thriller subgenre (murder, lawyers, etc.), this story is much lighter than a thriller. I think it falls more comfortably into the mystery category. It’s not a “page-turner” or something that keeps you “on the edge of your seat,” as thrillers are wont to do. (And that is not a bad thing, by the way! It’s just a different style). I think the General Mystery subgenre is more where your audience will be found. Just something to think about. =) Your selection of tones, though, is spot on!One final formatting note--you may want to include paragraph and dialogue tabs in your file and reupload. It’s a little tough to read with everything starting flush right.
I think you have a fun and engaging voice in these pages, Maria. I like the dry humor that’s weaved into the narrative--it really came through as a strong hook for me. There is a bit of inconsistency in the voice when you go from the active parts of the story to the info-dumps though. It feels almost as though you as the writer are getting bored with telling instead of showing. So don’t. =)
Your pacing is somewhat varied throughout, but for the most part these pages more swiftly and smoothly.Chapter 1 moves along at a quick clip without feeling rushed or like the reader is missing important details. I found myself pleasantly surprised to be so far along when I finished the chapter! Chapter 2 is a bit trickier. The POV switch/info-dump through me for a loop, slowed the pacing, and lost my interest. But then you pick back up with dialogue, which is something you clearly have a knack for. Chapter 3 is a bit slower than the previous pages I found. I think this might have to do with the whole literary agent thing--as I mentioned previously, it’s not feeling like a very accurate depiction to me, which is something that might be tripping me up. I also don’t think it’s a very compelling job for the main character of a thriller/mystery to have. If she’s going to investigate the murder, I want her to hold a position where I can buy that she’d know what she’s doing, would have an edge re: something related to the law or policework, etc. There are, of course, a lot of cozy mysteries and the like that use amateur sleuths as the main character, but I’m not getting that vibe from Kate here. I’m not getting a distinct vibe one way or the other really and that may be what’s slowing me down--I’m trying to figure out her real role in my mind as I read but it’s inconsistent and unclear. I’m not sure if any of that actually made sense. LOL! The end of the Chapter also slows due to the long monologue by Melanie. I’d suggest making this more of a conversation and less of a story being told to Kate and Adam. The back and forth would help make the scene feel more alive and vibrant.
Quite descriptive and the characters i thought were credible.
Thought the discriptions of ijuries could have been more graphic
moves along without making the reader feel breathless
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As a community for writers and readers, we want our members to receive thoughtful and constructive feedback on their work. Book Country Peer Reviews are designed to help writers improve in their chosen craft.
You must be a member to rate and review. Members can review a book once per draft. Each review has several sections:
Share your general thoughts on the book. Did the writer categorize the book accurately on the Genre Map? Were you engaged by the material? What really worked and what needs work? Comment on whatever else you like.
When uploading a book, writers can select two areas on which they’d like guidance. Provide more detailed feedback based on these criteria.
Give each section a star rating from 1 to 5. This will help us determine how the book compares to others in the community. Your must rate each section to save your review. But remember, star ratings are not just a scale of bad to good; it’s also a scale from rough draft to polished manuscript.
It’s easy to work on your review over a period of time with our “Save for Later” feature. Please be aware, though, that if you have a review saved and the writer of the book changes his/her feedback criteria, the feedback that you’ve inputted for any old criteria will be automatically removed. Additionally, if the writer uploads a new draft of the book, your review will be lost. So don’t sit on it too long!
When writing your review of a published book, please bear in mind that the author is not longer revising the project. For example, you may want to write your review as if you are giving your opinion to other potential readers.
Heads up! By Connecting with this person, you are allowing this user to view your other Connections, see who you’re Following, and read your complete books. You can also receive Recommendations from your Connections, and make Recommendations to them.
The other user must accept your Request to make the Connection official.
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It's easy! Upload chapters at your own pace or your entire book if it's ready. Make changes any time you like.
Everyone contributes at Book Country. After you provide three peer reviews, you can share your work with the community.
Book Country is a supportive community of fiction writers and readers who offer constructive feedback to help you improve your craft.
Our members include published authors and industry professionals. You never know who might discover your work.
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It is the decision of a Book Country author to employ DRM to limit distribution, sharing, or copying of his or her work.
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